On the Go

I move around a lot. A few days a week, in Durham, where I have my 'own' place (and I love it), with all my bedding, most of my clothes, my own herbs and spices in the cupboard, and a stock pile of apple cider vinegar (not joking).

It used to bother me a lot, moving around so much. The day before I'd get a 'here we go again' sinking feeling and I wouldn't be able to live in the moment and just enjoy the experience of being where I was. Not looking to the past or anticipating an imagined future has been a really hard skill to develop, but I'm sort-of getting there.

Mostly it's just learned behaviour. What we repeatedly do, we become. Every five or six days, I take a plane and arrive in my new home, either at midday or at midnight. I spend a few days there, embrace whatever's going on there, then head off again. No mess, no fuss. To be honest, it took a few years to get comfortable with moving around so much. But I got there in the end.

The things I have learned so far:

Have less things

Having way less stuff means less stuff to lug around with you, less stuff to keep organised, less stuff to clutter your line of vision and make you miserable, less stuff to maintain (servicing the 'stuff' is a big part of many peoples' lives, they just don't know it)

Learn what works for you

What will make your travel and hometime your most efficient self? Learn through trial and error, and do that. I've got the timings of my train and plane down, a backpack for laptop and shoulder bag for clothes, and two simultaneous sets of cards, keys and life-admin things carefully managed so it's all where I need it when I need it. No sweat.

Don't have a lot of different types of clothes

I know 'capsule wardrobes' are a huge thing right now, and that's cool. But the logic of having less clothes, and having clothes that go with all your other clothes, is just sound logic. I think people can become a bit of a slave to the capsule wardrobe-anticipating the changeover, documenting it etc. The idea for me is to have a setup where I can think as little as possible about the clothes I will wear but know they are all adequate. 

Learn to take comfort in the simple things

You know what's beautiful? A fresh bunch of flowers, or a houseplant that requires minimal water (heathers are indestructible), a nice smell of essential oils and a cup of tea. I painted my walls white and just walking into my bright room makes me smile. Those are the things that keep you feeling ok.

Make the most of wherever you are

When I'm in Durham, there's not a lot to do I'm interested in, but there's a great folk music community, so I go to a lot of sessions. Not only am I learning loads of new tunes, but I'm meeting great people. I went to a session in someone's house last week and it was amazing-good tunes, great snacks, and a glass of Scotch to finish! Wherever you are, embrace it. Don't think of what might be or what you're missing somewhere else.

Happy Birthday Leo

My best friend in the whole world turned 30 last Wednesday. To mark the special occasion we went on a short break to France. One night in Nice, then a local bus to a beautiful old town called Vence. Sitting in the spa, reading, doing squat jumps, eating delicious local food, and generally having the most relaxing time in our gorgeous hotel and the town. It's rare that I feel sad after leaving a place, but I do miss it now. Leo doesn't care so much about birthdays, but I tried to make it enjoyable for him, and I hope it was memorable.

Good night's sleep

Unfortunately, our house is not entirely sound-proof. I have two housemates, two lovely sentient beings with their own worlds and lives. With the lack of sound insulation between rooms, simple things like Skype conversations or having friends over can really affect my sleep. With a poor night's rest comes grogginess, feeling unhappy the next day, as well as feelings of resentment, even though it may not be entirely the other person's fault. I try minimise these things, for obvious reasons.

Furthermore, traffic, drunk people, disrespectful workmen (07:30!) and just living beside a busy main road and the through-way to the train station means there is a lot of noise to deal with. I am a very light sleeper, wake often in the night, and thus any external disruptions can really wreak havoc with my day-after.

I much prefer to sleep in cool, silent, relatively dark places, so I have started employing some tools to get me the quiet rest I love and need. I'm learning how important it is to be able to insulate yourself, give yourself the things you need to be able to just get on, and be happy in your own space. 

That's where my little friends here come in. The eye mask is one from Muji Leo actually sent me when I was still living in Ireland and he had moved to England, going on five years ago. It's still going strong, even if the elastic is fraying a bit. The earplugs were well reviewed on Amazon. With this arsenal of sensory-deprivation tools, I am on track to a good night's sleep.

Sweet dreams, Ese.

Getting up early

I cannot get up early. I always stay up late, scrolling through Instagram, Whatsapping Leo, feeding my Neko Atsume cat friends, whatever it takes. I'm trying to break the last major bad habit I have, getting up, consistently, sometime between 09.00 and 10.00. I know it's ridiculous and not sustainable because before I know it I will have a job where an early rise will be essential, and I just wont be able to survive. Plus, I love the idea of being an 'early riser'. 

So here I am, committed to the cause. I was up, breakfasted and away to my work long before 09.00 this morning and it felt fantastic. I'm mostly writing this here so that if I don't stick to the schedule I'll have a public indication of my failure, and nobody wants that. I'm making a promise; to get up early and to be an early riser. I know it's easier when it's Spring and the sun is shining and you have this to look up at as you sit at your desk. But habits are formed of many small steps. Let's make it happen.

Wish me luck!

Pictures of things

My windowsill, with the Christmas plant that will not die, and Dublin, when we went for a long walk on the beach yesterday.

In between places

I'm getting into a rhythm of sorts. Monday morning, Halo taxi at 08:00, to the airport. Back in Durham by lunchtime. Unpack, do some work. Buy milk. Take a nap. Some sort of reverse culture shock because even though they're so close, they're so different. 

Living in between two places feels weird. Leo's life in Dublin is really starting to take form, and our house is so cosy there. But I really love my place in Durham too, and my life there is uncomplicated. I know what's expected of me. Given the choice I'd obviously rather be in Dublin, for now there is no alternative. So I travel back and forth, a fortnight here, a weekend there, whenever I can for as long as I can. 

I'm a very impatient person, but I'm trying my best.

 

Some things are eternally comforting. Like coming home to your own bathroom cabinet. Post on the table waiting. Doing laundry. Stocking the fridge with foods of your own choosing. The things we do to make the absences feel a little less.

Happy birthday, William Morris

My Socialist, radical, furniture-loving hero.

Farvel til København

Maybe it's fitting that it's Spring, the days are getting brighter, and I have an itch to sort through my ever-dwindling collection of possessions and do a tidy and a clean up. It's been obvious to me for months, since Leo finally handed in his notice and moved, that our life in Copenhagen had reached a natural climax. That being said, I dawdled for months and months and always tried to picture myself going back there to live. 

But naturally, our time in Copenhagen has reached it's conclusion and Leo has in fact moved back to Dublin, while I have an excruciating 1.5 years of PhD left before I can join him (don't get me wrong, I am overjoyed to be doing the PhD, but I am so tired of living in a temporary-home). I've just returned to Durham from Copenhagen, where we finally (FINALLY!!!) packed up all our kitchen stuff, Leo's dozens of work shirts, boxes of cards and letters and memories, and the furniture. 

We spent those last few days catching up with lovely people we might not see for a while, doing a bit of shopping (I lost a scarf this winter that was my favourite one, and needed a replacement), sitting in the same cafe for hours on end, and spending our last night in a Jazz-filled bodega, from which my clothes ended up smelling like an ash tray. 

It was a surreal few days and they went by far too quickly. Now it's back to work, and back to Ireland as well for Easter. It was lovely to live in Copenhagen, and our apartment was cosy and full of fond memories. But sometimes things just come to an end, and that's quite alright. It's onwards to bigger and bolder things, and the most important thing is that Leo and I are journeying together.

Lately

Life, as always, is busy. Fieldwork and teaching obligations are going very well. I'm coming to the end of my tutoring for the year, and am unsure if I'll keep it up next year (as it's very time consuming). I'll be sad when I finish up with my fieldwork as I've met so many wonderful people, but at the same time, I am keenly aware of how much data will need to be analysed by May (when it will be 12 months since I began).

I am going back and forth to Ireland more and more these days, as Leo is there working and we find that life is nicer when we see each other a lot. So I've been going over some weekends, and he comes here some weekends, and it's generally lovely. 

On Saturday we got up really early and did a tidy out of the bits and pieces of life, then we met my aunt and uncle at Avoca and went to a garden centre where we got lots and lots of plants. I also voted in our General Election, and we spent the entire weekend with the radio on listening to the results.

It is so nice to be home. To feel a part of where you are. To feel like you have something in common with the people around you. They are more like you than anyone else in the world. 

In other news: I go to the gym a lot more and lift weights, and I finally got some whistles that don't just play D and G Major (although the low whistle does).