Wednesday, 28 August 2013

Almost At the End of Now

It's the night before I do my carpentry exam for the basic level course. Everything is finished, all the screws and nails are in place, and my project board is sitting next to my piece. After Friday, when we go in to DEMOLISH all our hard work with crow bars (I cannot wait), I'll be free. Free of obligation, of commitment, of a lot of things. I'll write a little entry about my project itself in a bit, but I just want to talk about the general implications of being finished, and what I plan on doing with, well, the rest of my life.

I'm in a weird position. Over-educated with only admin experience, 24 with two degrees in the social sciences, super mobile and with no particular roots, my family and most of my dearest friends are in Ireland, some other close friends are in London, Poland, and further afield. My boyfriend has bagged himself an immense job with Dankse Bank and gotten a delicious apartment in the trendiest part of Copenhagen.

But what exactly am I going to do with myself?

Well, I'm going to begin by learning how to drive because, I have a confession to make, I cannot drive. So I plan to go back to Ireland, take a ton of lessons, and do my test as soon as I can. And maybe I might even pass first time around. Aside from that, I'm going to see Cats the Musical (the last time I went I was a baby of less than one with no self awareness), I'm going to Tipperary to visit an organic ecovillage, and I'm going to Austria for the first time to stay in the mountains with my parents and my Swiss-living brother and his fam.

Other than that, who knows.

What I do know is that I handed in my notice at the restaurant I work at, and then I shall not waitress again. And that is that.

I have a lot of plans, a lot of maybes, but even more unanswered questions about myself, what I want, and what I'm capable of doing with my time. The carpentry course has taught me that I love working with my hands, and life has taught me that I don't want to sit in an office grinding the cogs of the machine. I'd like to do charity or NGO work but I need to get paid something. I have quite a few courses to apply for, from policy stuff to decidedly outdoorsy stuff, and I am going to do some work away stuff, hopefully in a little old country in the north where there's lots of rocks.

So, there you have it. I am 24, I am not exactly poor but I certainly don't have any expendable income. My boyfriend is a banker but neither of us really support capitalism. I have my good health, a lot of ideas and hopes for the future, and I have ambition. And right now, that's enough.

'Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist'- George Carlin; don't want this to be me, though.

The Future's Looking Bright Tonight

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