Friday, 18 January 2013

Just Saying : Introspection on Friday Evening

'The flood of tea and excuses, and I'm just drowning in all the charm and bollox'

This film makes me cry just a little every time. I know it's clĂ­ched, and I know the grass is always greener, but it's beautifully shot, the script is great, and it just tugs at your heartstrings in all the right ways. I would recommend watching it five million times.

I feel homesick a lot and it's often hard to think about everyone at home getting on without me. I love Ireland and I wish that things were better there, that the politics was a little less conservative, the opportunities a little wider in scope, the Church a little less respected.

The things I adore when I go back are the things I got jaded by when I stayed there too long, and I have to keep reminding myself that. Films like this make you feel sad and melancholic, but you just have to keep reminding yourself that the Ireland of your dreams and the O'Connell Street in this video aren't real. They're tricks your mind plays on you to make you question yourself, your choices, your path.

O'Connell Street has never looked this perfect in reality, and it never will. It's filled with angry bus drivers, junkies scabbing Euros and Penneys bags. There isn't anything wrong with that, but it's hardly worth missing fondly.

Literally, thinking about all of this, home and here and family and all the friends I don't have in London, I'm balling my eyes out. It always comes back to me wondering if I'd be happier if I was there, even though I am really happy now. If I could, I would be in two places at once, always up for trips to Eddie Rockets and the cinema and hanging out singing songs, and here, living my 'real' life, whatever that is.

Things are going to change a lot when I move to Denmark, and I hope that, if anything, I stop feeling so homesick.

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